"I WOULD NEVER DO THIS FOR YOU!!"

I’ve had a real-life glimpse into motherhood, and it is SO WEIRD.

While nannying tonight and trying to get everyone to rush through the bedtime routine (impossible), my nine-year-old comes out of the bathroom:

"I don’t feel good..."

"Well, what do you mean? Your stomach?"

Nods.

"Did you go?"

"Yeah, I went…"

“Had some diarrhea?"

“…yeah” She doesn’t want to say it, she's twisting her face, fighting the tears.

“Okay, that’s okay. Would you like some medicine? It’s very soothing, it will quiet your stomach..."

“I don’t feel good... I don’t feel good!”

“Okay, that’s okay, let’s just walk towards the bathroom and have a little hang out by the toilet…"

Shoot, now I’ve done it, she’s tipped: 

“No, no, no, I hate throwing up, I can’t, I hate it, oh no, no...” but she does start to walk, and I’m pulling out my hairband to tie back her hair.

What the heck is happening?!?

Can we flash back two years ago when I was with a friend, at the toilet, and I'm completely hysterical? She was holding back my hair, and I was absolutely livid about being sick… “WHY are you doing this?! HOW are you doing this?! This is horrible!! I WOULD NEVER DO THIS FOR YOU!!"

Yes. That is what I told the dear, dear friend who was cleaning up after me.

Can we also flash back to when I was nine, my mom and I waiting for the worst in our blue-tiled bathroom, and me thinking, “How does she do it? How does she hold my hair and watch me get sick? How will I EVER do this when I have a daughter?”

SO...HOW AM I HOLDING A NINE-YEAR-OLD’S HAIR BACK RIGHT NOW?!?

I’m lightly rubbing her back, telling her to breathe deeply, and getting sentimental. The transition is happening, from having my hair held-up to being the hair-holder...

...WEIRD.

Maybe I won’t raise little evil gremlin children after all? Maybe there’s hope I’ll be an empathetic & loving mom someday?

Who knows...

Anyhoo, thanks for reading.
Lucy

Paintings by Norman Rockwell

Paintings by Norman Rockwell

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