Last week's Sonic Journal entry was about feeling inspired by darling creative women. This is the opposite.
I am a jealous person. I get competitive in an unhealthy way. I brood and compare myself to others. I rationalize how I am more skilled and more deserving of success. For this, I despise myself.
Again I'm reminded of how easily inspiration cycles into depression. The uncomfortable truth, however, is that many positive actions are brought on by negative feelings. It's the momentum created by this cycle that keeps us moving.